If this week wasn't already filled enough I was called into an unexpected meeting at work with the group manager and general manager. The topic on the table was the date of my last day at work. Weeks ago I told them January 7 would be my last day, they countered with December 24 to which I said ,"No". So today they mention December 24 again and I said "No" again. I laid my cards on the table and fielded comments and hit back. There were some moments of silence, not uncomfortable to me but enough so for them that after more talking, the GM told me he would let me know of his decision tomorrow morning. Ten minutes later as I am preparing to leave he tells me that he has agreed to my original date of January 7.
I did my part in the meeting and while I am not sure of the persona or characteristics that I take on when I am those situations I am proud of myself for sticking to my guns and not being swayed by pressure. I also thank God for being with me in that room and keeping it together and at peace with whatever decision was made; which in this case, was in my favor.
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
FINAL Thought for the day:
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
I turned in my application for clinicals yesterday on my lunch break. I had the most dangerous attitude of all; indifferent. I received the rest of my uniform in the mail yesterday and a study book for pharmacology that I had ordered a few weeks ago. Honestly I can't tell if I just don't care or if I'm tired. I hope that it is the latter. Maybe some sleep and encouragement can help with that.
Today I traveled to the northwest part of the state with a friend. I mainly went for the Jamba Juice and the trip to the candy factory. It was a clear, brisk day and I had a good time meeting new friends and hanging out.
Final exams are this week. I have one on Tuesday and another on Friday. I have also been filling out scholarship applications this week. Personal statement anyone? Actually I find it easier the second time around. I imagine that is because I've had some time in the business world and know what it's really like and now I know what I really want.
I spoke with Alice today in the business office and she was very helpful in answering my questions. When I left I felt better, but then that feeling was quickly replaced by doubt and uneasiness. At best, I'll have $100 left over for books, supplies, gas, rent, food, etc. Not nearly enough and certainly not the figure I had two months ago.
What my biggest dilemma is and the thing I am wrestling with most is, do I stick it out, follow through with the current plans, muster up some faith and courage and believe that the amount I need will show up at the right time? Or, do I bow out and pray that I am able to find employment within four weeks? I don't know. And I haven't felt like God has given me any indication on what to do. To me, this is a huge decision. It's not life or death, but either decision at this point carries a lot of weight and choices. The mortal side of me says to stop. Finish this semester well. Update and send out the resumes. My heart says to wait it out. Be still. Do not worry.
I am really worried right now. I checked my ledger on my school account and the numbers didn't add up. I am weeks away from quitting my job, days away from submitting my clinical application and now I don't know if I'll have the funds for school. I am an emotional roller coaster right now; sad, afraid, kicking myself for thinking I could do something as crazy as this, and feeling completely stupid and worse of all I am beginning to question God. I thought that this is what I was supposed to do, I thought I was being obedient. All this way and now I get the rug pulled from underneath me?! A small part of me still believes that something will come through.
My process when something like this happens is to completely lose it and throw a pity party. I go from my type A characteristics and thinking it's the end of the world; "I'm going to be without a job, I'll have to withdraw from school, return the books, uniforms, cancel the order for the stethoscope, return the supplies. I am going to look like a fool to everyone. Poor Meghan, she thought she was following Gods' will for her...
Then I take a step back and look at what needs to be done. Nothing is confirmed. I can go to the business office tomorrow and talk to Alice and work through the numbers with her. If everything is kosher, then no harm, no foul. If not, I'll go to my advisor, withdraw from classes and maybe I can start clinicals with the next class. After that, I'll have to find a job or leave the country. (I'm only half kidding)
I have a limited perspective, I know. Maybe an anonymous donor will write a check for a second degree BSN student, maybe I'll find $10,000. I know that I've come to the end of what I can do which is nothing compared to what He can do.
There is no way I can study for finals in my current state. I need to mediate and get deep in the Word.I am really worried right now. I checked my ledger on my school account and the numbers didn't add up. I am weeks away from quitting my job, days away from submitting my clinical application and now I don't know if I'll have the funds for school. I am an emotional roller coaster right now; sad, afraid, kicking myself for thinking I could do something as crazy as this, and feeling completely stupid and worse of all I am beginning to question God. I thought that this is what I was supposed to do, I thought I was being obedient. All this way and now I get the rug pulled from underneath me?! A small part of me still believes that something will come through.
My process when something like this happens is to completely lose it and throw a pity party. I go from my type A characteristics and thinking it's the end of the world; "I'm going to be without a job, I'll have to withdraw from school, return the books, uniforms, cancel the order for the stethoscope, return the supplies. I am going to look like a fool to everyone. Poor Meghan, she thought she was following Gods' will for her...
Then I take a step back and look at what needs to be done. Nothing is confirmed. I can go to the business office tomorrow and talk to Alice and work through the numbers with her. If everything is kosher, then no harm, no foul. If not, I'll go to my advisor, withdraw from classes and maybe I can start clinicals with the next class. After that, I'll have to find a job or leave the country. (I'm only half kidding)
I have a limited perspective, I know. Maybe an anonymous donor will write a check for a second degree BSN student, maybe I'll find $10,000. I know that I've come to the end of what I can do which is nothing compared to what He can do.
There is no way I can study for finals in my current state. I need to mediate and get deep in the Word.
