Registration

I registered for fall semester classes today.  I'll be taking 3 credit hours.  One class will be on campus and one will be an online course.  It was Nursing Focus Day and most of the students were either transfer students or incoming freshman.  It is still a strange feeling...this whole changing of careers.  I wonder and ask God at times, eh,  all the time if I am on the right path.  If this is still what He wants me to pursue. Come January the following 16 months will be very intensive.  I'll be tackling clinicals and coursework in double time for 3 semesters.  Historically, when others have told me that something is rigorous I've always had the attitude of "bring it".  The competitive side of me wants to go at with full force.  Then, then I find myself at the place where I am drained.  The point where  I've committed to the activity where it's too late to turn back but I don't really want to go forward either.   I don't want that to happen here.  I believe that it is my calling to help people, to work in the medical field and after a few years of trying different things, I think nursing is it.  That's just the thing though, I think this is it.  I don't know for certain.  In my mind I have a nice idea laid out if I end up pulling this off.  

 I was thinking about the story where Jesus is walking on water and Peter wants to do the same.  Peter gets out of the boat and begins to walk on water.  After he saw the wind, he was afraid and began to sink.  Peter called out, "Lord, save me!"  Jesus reaches out to him and replies, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"  Who is Peter doubting?  He's not doubting Jesus; he is doubting himself.  I find myself in Peter's position.  I am doubting not Jesus but myself.  I am doubting myself because I know my past attempts, failures, and the past fears that are still wrestling within me.  You know what though?  Jesus knows my past too and yet He doesn't doubt me.  Rather then focusing on the 'why'-an explanation that is far beyond human comprehension, I'd rather focus on the simple fact that He believes in me and leave it at that.  Isn't that all that is needed?  The King of the universe believes in me and you; and that is enough.  

When this expedition first started I made it very clear to God that if He wasn't a part of this-if He wasn't in it then it would fail- I would fail.  I said the same thing to Him again today after I had registered for classes.  "If you're not in this, if this is not what you want me to do, tell me."  Walking by faith while being patient for God to orchestrate His plans takes trust, risks, and communication with the Author.  The payoff though is adventure, love, and complete freedom.