The Land of Frustration

Today was the first day that I was beyond my realm of workload capacity. Maybe it was because I was the only one in the lab today or because I was working with a computer system that I'm only semi-confident with or because two studies were happening at the same time or if the combination of it all threw me for a new one.

I found myself standing at the lab bench not able to move while my mind was racing at 100mph. I wanted so badly to throw in the towel and to walk away from it all, to leave it for someone else. I felt trapped between a rock and a hard plate, not knowing which way to turn and asking myself if I was really cut to to be doing what I loved. In the span of 15 minutes I had forgotten how to prioritize, process, and manage multiple projects.

After it was all over I walked through the lab checking, double checking, and triple checking all the while knowing that I did the best I could. I suppose some part of me wanted to find some absurdities or a mistake and correct it right then. I simply wasn't satisfied.

Now I know that experience is not something that can be taught. It must be tried over and over again that it is so comfortable that it becomes uncomfortable. Only then can the wisdom be passed on.