I know how you feel.

A week ago I attended Rob Bell's book tour,  Drops Like Stars.  Zondervan describes the book as 

 "an exploration of the complex relationship between suffering and creativity, driven by the belief that there is art in the agony."  In his presentation, Rob touched on different arts such as the art of solidarity, art of disruption, and the art of elimination.  My biggest take-away from the night came from the art of solidarity.  As part of Rob's well rounded message, every person in the audience had an index card and in their non-dominant hand wrote the words, "I know how you feel."  Rob asked a series of questions, "Have you ever been addicted to anything?", "Have you asked yourself, 'How am I going to pay the bills?'", "Have you ever been betrayed?"  After each question you were to find someone that you didn't know and switch cards with them.  In a matter of minutes it was evident that although many of us think that we are alone in our struggles, we are anything but.  

Another thought of Rob's that I resonated with was this, "When I suffer, this too will shape me.  The time will come when I will have to begin to entertain the idea that there is a new tomorrow and that I will be ok."  Despite the efforts that we put into place to plan tomorrow and the weeks and months ahead.  We don't expect a curve ball to be thrown or a wrench placed into our plans, but when that happens there will be a period of shock, feelings of defeat, a time of contemplation, etc.  It is then that we will pick up the pieces, because even the failed pieces are important; and we will start to think that perhaps there is a tomorrow that we have not planned and something great is waiting to come out of it. 

The art of solidarity.  Just last night I looked at my note card and wondered how could Jesus know anything about how I am feeling.  Does He know how it feels to be used and to be forgotten?  Does He know the pain of words that stab like a knife?  Does He know loneliness?  Has He been robbed of joy and trust?  Tasted failure?  Does He know what it's like to try to work with an uncommitted person?  It wasn't long before I was reminded of how Judas gave him up so easily; how Peter denied him three times, the many who cursed his name and the millions of uncommitted people today who he desperately wants an intimate relationship with yet they would rather remain lukewarm and not buckle-down for anything too serious.  Yeah,  He knows how I feel. 

In the end I wonder how many of us forget or don't realize that God is screaming alongside us when the difficult and unexpected happens.

 my notecard.

Another Odd Dream

My dream last night went something like this:

I was hanging out with President Obama's kids-two girls and a boy.  The boy is a kid I took to immediately during my time in Kenya, but in my dream he was the president's son.  I walk the kids back to their house which is just a simple ranch-style home with an old Chevy in the driveway.  I begin walking back and the little boys runs after me to tell me a joke at which I laugh out, a neighbor lady who is out raking her leaves also hears the joke and laughs.  I continue on my way and stop in at a restaurant that is run by an older gentleman with a short gray beard.  The restaurant has a feel of a fisherman's wharf, made out of old lumber.  I sit on the patio over looking a canal/stream/some type of water ? and there is a bridge down the ways a bit.  I sit at a table and begin eating my cheeseburger and I notice a frog that is trying to jump onto my lap.  Eventually he makes it onto my lap and then onto the table.  I leave the restaurant and begin walking down the canal/water source and look for a way to get to the bridge to cross over it.

And then I woke up.  

Psalm 143

Listen to this prayer of mine, God; pay attention to what I'm asking.
Answer me—you're famous for your answers!
Do what's right for me.
But don't, please don't, haul me into court;
not a person alive would be acquitted there.

The enemy hunted me down;
he kicked me and stomped me within an inch of my life.
He put me in a black hole,
buried me like a corpse in that dungeon.
I sat there in despair, my spirit draining away,
my heart heavy, like lead.
I remembered the old days,
went over all you've done, pondered the ways you've worked,
Stretched out my hands to you,
as thirsty for you as a desert thirsty for rain.

Hurry with your answer, God!
I'm nearly at the end of my rope.
Don't turn away; don't ignore me!
That would be certain death.
If you wake me each morning with the sound of your loving voice,
I'll go to sleep each night trusting in you.
Point out the road I must travel;
I'm all ears, all eyes before you.
Save me from my enemies, God—
you're my only hope!
Teach me how to live to please you,
because you're my God.
Lead me by your blessed Spirit
into cleared and level pastureland.

Keep up your reputation, God—give me life!
In your justice, get me out of this trouble!
In your great love, vanquish my enemies;
make a clean sweep of those who harass me.
And why? Because I'm your servant.

The Countdown Begins

If this week wasn't already filled enough I was called into an unexpected meeting at work with the group manager and general manager. The topic on the table was the date of my last day at work. Weeks ago I told them January 7 would be my last day, they countered with December 24 to which I said ,"No". So today they mention December 24 again and I said "No" again. I laid my cards on the table and fielded comments and hit back. There were some moments of silence, not uncomfortable to me but enough so for them that after more talking, the GM told me he would let me know of his decision tomorrow morning. Ten minutes later as I am preparing to leave he tells me that he has agreed to my original date of January 7.

I did my part in the meeting and while I am not sure of the persona or characteristics that I take on when I am those situations I am proud of myself for sticking to my guns and not being swayed by pressure. I also thank God for being with me in that room and keeping it together and at peace with whatever decision was made; which in this case, was in my favor.

Observation

The time to fall ill is NOT on the eve of a final exam.

Update: Earned a 92 on the final.

words

too much. panic. can't breathe. love. confused. worried. indifferent. touched. comforted. learning. God honoring. scared. support. unknowing. valley. trust. belly laughs. puppy love. clear blue skies. weep. friends. dispose. running. smiles. frustrated. kind words. application. future. questions. hurtful. think. pain. supplies. change. risk. strong. hot mess. thoughtful. warmth. open hands. life. mountain. questions. push. enter. tradition. family. assist. ignorant. sun. chocolate. lessons. truth. loyalty. second time. personal statement. deadline. calling. aid. obedience. hold. encourage. pray. listen. observation. fail. process. walk. rest. hold.

Life Lessons from Dave Barry

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human
race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential,
that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental
illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost
never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and
compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely
suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an
actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other
people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that,
deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a
nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never
fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone
amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the
Titanic.

FINAL Thought for the day:

Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to
women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something
acceptable to have dinner with.

trying

I turned in my application for clinicals yesterday on my lunch break. I had the most dangerous attitude of all; indifferent. I received the rest of my uniform in the mail yesterday and a study book for pharmacology that I had ordered a few weeks ago. Honestly I can't tell if I just don't care or if I'm tired. I hope that it is the latter. Maybe some sleep and encouragement can help with that.

Today I traveled to the northwest part of the state with a friend. I mainly went for the Jamba Juice and the trip to the candy factory. It was a clear, brisk day and I had a good time meeting new friends and hanging out.

Final exams are this week. I have one on Tuesday and another on Friday. I have also been filling out scholarship applications this week. Personal statement anyone? Actually I find it easier the second time around. I imagine that is because I've had some time in the business world and know what it's really like and now I know what I really want.

Wrestling

I spoke with Alice today in the business office and she was very helpful in answering my questions. When I left I felt better, but then that feeling was quickly replaced by doubt and uneasiness. At best, I'll have $100 left over for books, supplies, gas, rent, food, etc. Not nearly enough and certainly not the figure I had two months ago.

What my biggest dilemma is and the thing I am wrestling with most is, do I stick it out, follow through with the current plans, muster up some faith and courage and believe that the amount I need will show up at the right time? Or, do I bow out and pray that I am able to find employment within four weeks? I don't know. And I haven't felt like God has given me any indication on what to do. To me, this is a huge decision. It's not life or death, but either decision at this point carries a lot of weight and choices. The mortal side of me says to stop. Finish this semester well. Update and send out the resumes. My heart says to wait it out. Be still. Do not worry.

I don't know.

God, I trust you

I am really worried right now. I checked my ledger on my school account and the numbers didn't add up. I am weeks away from quitting my job, days away from submitting my clinical application and now I don't know if I'll have the funds for school. I am an emotional roller coaster right now; sad, afraid, kicking myself for thinking I could do something as crazy as this, and feeling completely stupid and worse of all I am beginning to question God. I thought that this is what I was supposed to do, I thought I was being obedient. All this way and now I get the rug pulled from underneath me?! A small part of me still believes that something will come through.

My process when something like this happens is to completely lose it and throw a pity party. I go from my type A characteristics and thinking it's the end of the world; "I'm going to be without a job, I'll have to withdraw from school, return the books, uniforms, cancel the order for the stethoscope, return the supplies. I am going to look like a fool to everyone. Poor Meghan, she thought she was following Gods' will for her...

Then I take a step back and look at what needs to be done. Nothing is confirmed. I can go to the business office tomorrow and talk to Alice and work through the numbers with her. If everything is kosher, then no harm, no foul. If not, I'll go to my advisor, withdraw from classes and maybe I can start clinicals with the next class. After that, I'll have to find a job or leave the country. (I'm only half kidding)

I have a limited perspective, I know. Maybe an anonymous donor will write a check for a second degree BSN student, maybe I'll find $10,000. I know that I've come to the end of what I can do which is nothing compared to what He can do.

There is no way I can study for finals in my current state. I need to mediate and get deep in the Word.I am really worried right now. I checked my ledger on my school account and the numbers didn't add up. I am weeks away from quitting my job, days away from submitting my clinical application and now I don't know if I'll have the funds for school. I am an emotional roller coaster right now; sad, afraid, kicking myself for thinking I could do something as crazy as this, and feeling completely stupid and worse of all I am beginning to question God. I thought that this is what I was supposed to do, I thought I was being obedient. All this way and now I get the rug pulled from underneath me?! A small part of me still believes that something will come through.

My process when something like this happens is to completely lose it and throw a pity party. I go from my type A characteristics and thinking it's the end of the world; "I'm going to be without a job, I'll have to withdraw from school, return the books, uniforms, cancel the order for the stethoscope, return the supplies. I am going to look like a fool to everyone. Poor Meghan, she thought she was following Gods' will for her...

Then I take a step back and look at what needs to be done. Nothing is confirmed. I can go to the business office tomorrow and talk to Alice and work through the numbers with her. If everything is kosher, then no harm, no foul. If not, I'll go to my advisor, withdraw from classes and maybe I can start clinicals with the next class. After that, I'll have to find a job or leave the country. (I'm only half kidding)

I have a limited perspective, I know. Maybe an anonymous donor will write a check for a second degree BSN student, maybe I'll find $10,000. I know that I've come to the end of what I can do which is nothing compared to what He can do.

There is no way I can study for finals in my current state. I need to mediate and get deep in the Word.

GMH Conference Part II

The GMH Conference was incredible! I arrived Friday afternoon, and had already missed a day of the conference because of work. However, I was still blessed by the speakers and breakout sessions. Worship on Friday night was amazing! For the first time since returning from Kenya I felt like I was permitted to just let go. For so many weeks it has seem that I keep pushing through another day, week, just to keep going, not stopping to reflect or really work through my thoughts and feelings. I had been to this conference before in 2006. Returning to this conference after being on a mission trip gave me a different perspective and appreciation then before. The entire weekend was such a huge encouragement. I scrambled to write down notes from the speakers so that I could look back on them for future inspiration.

I was fortunate enough to run into a few familiar faces while at the conference. Tom, who also was on the Kenya team was there with his wife who is a physician. They are currently trying to decide where to do long term missions. Shaun, who was a classmate of mine in college was in attendance as well. He is in medical school now and is excited at the prospect of doing medical missions. My favorite part is meeting Paula, a nurse of 30+ years. We traded stories of missions work over Chik-Fil-A. Paula was such an encouragement to me and at the end of our conversation gave me a warm hug and welcomed me into nursing as a sister. What an unexpected blessing.

Some of the speaker topics included: Following God's Will, Surrender and Obedience to Him, and an assortment of missions information and stories from Steve Saint. I am already looking forward to next years conference.

GMH Conference

Having a great time listening to speakers and meeting new people. I'll write more about it later. This will have to do for now.

I guess since I am up this late anyway I might as well register for spring semester classes. Registration opens at 12am. On the list are: fundamentals of nursing (+ clinic), nursing care of adult client I (+ clinic), professional role socialization II, dosage calculation, pharmacology, and pathophysiology. Yeah, that looks like good time.

Encouraging

Playing for Change is a multimedia movement created to inspire, connect, and bring peace to the world through music. The idea for this project arose from a common belief that music has the power to break down boundaries and overcome distances between people. No matter whether people come from different geographic, political, economic, spiritual or ideological backgrounds, music has the universal power to transcend and unite us as one human race. And with this truth firmly fixed in our minds, we set out to share it with the world.

I really enjoyed listening to this. By the end of the song I found myself singing along and just in awe of the passion that these artists displayed.

It doesn't feel real

It's hard to believe that I spent almost two weeks in Kenya. To me it doesn't seem like I was gone. Tomorrow I go back to work and that will be the true test as I adjust back to life. I've started updating the Kenya blog if you want to take a peak. It will be hard as the days pass to keep these two blogs separate. I really believe that each plays an important part in the other.

I have a midterm this Friday for school and I am starting to look at my class schedule options for next semester, though I don't have the energy for it right now. I will be taking another leap of faith here a in a few months by quitting work and going back to school full time. As the deadline gets closer my head wants to start backing away, but my heart stays strong and tells me to keep going.

In case you didn't know...

I have a blog for the mission trip I will be going on in September.  Creating Hope for Bondeni is listed on the right under my Labworthy Lessons.  The map above is that of Nairobi.  I got it from the CMF/Hope International website.  There you can read more about Bondeni and what will be waiting for me when I arrive.

When I was making the address for the blog, I must have been in a rush because I forgot the second "i" in mission.  If you do spell the address correctly you will go to a different blog that is about a team from Missions Hotline and their experience in Kenya.  It's worth a read if you're interested.

By nature I am an organizer and overseer, often laying the groundwork for new projects. Recently, I've had to take a major step in "releasing" projects that I've worked on for a number of years.  This endeavor has been met with resistance.  This is no surprise considering I am someone is who is wholly devoted and deeply loyal to whatever activity I am pursuing; especially if it assists another person or group.

However, having to hand over the reigns despite the best of intentions is never easy.  Suddenly I am not needed.  Questions and concerns are directed to a new leader; a position I once held. No longer am I "in the know" and at times I find myself answering with a blank stare because I don't know the answer.  I have free time that is available to me that was once filled with meetings, run-throughs, and brain storming sessions.  Mixed in there is a feeling of disappointment.  This is overwhelmingly directed toward the lack of appreciation for my efforts and the advancement of projects. Certainly, praise is not what drives my work ethic or ambition, but a genuine "Thank you" or recognition or encouragement of some sort would have been nice.  To be straightforward, there were many nights when I wondered if anyone even cared the slightest bit and times when I felt I was being used for what I could bring to the table. I often revitalized myself by remembering regardless of what people say or don't say I should only concern myself with what God says.  

So, I look at this as an opportunity for advancement.  Not only for me, but also for the new leaders in my place.  There is a time for everything and right now it's time for me to move on.

Why?

Why are we so selfish?  Why, when given the opportunity to introduce people to Jesus are we hesitant?   Why don't we allow a new believer to visit or join a small group?  A lot of the excuses I hear is because that person doesn't have anything in common with the group; they're too young or too old, not at the same life stage, don't dress like us, act like us, or my favorite: they don't mesh well with the group.   Seriously?  Here is my question:  What do we have in common with Jesus?  Absolutely nothing!  Jesus is perfect and we are perfectly flawed.   Yet He still invites us into community with Him.  What gives us any right to deny that opportunity to another individual?  Why, instead of inviting a person to feel God's love do we leave them for somebody else to take of?  Why are we so invested in ourselves and others' perception of us that we fail in being the hands and feet of Jesus?  Why?

Rants

• I found Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman on the Gospel Music Channel today!  I forgot how hot Sully was :)  Who wouldn't like a guy that can build you a house, be a father to your children, take care of you, and be firm and tender in his words at the same time?  Not to mention, who else do you know that looks good in rawhide pants and moccasins? 

                                                                   Me and Sully- (I wish)

• I met up with an old friend who I played ball and went to school with a few years ago.  She brought her son, Sean and we enjoyed a sweet dinner and good conversation.
  Sean was more interested in the doggies then having his picture taken.
  
  
  

eh, we tried.

• My patience has been stretched today.  When I am training and preparing you for a test I expect you to come prepared and to have at least glanced over the outline.  So, if I seem a little perturbed with all of your questions, it's because the answers are in the text that you were too lazy to look at.  Just sayin'.
• Don't take the back roads if you don't know how to drive on them.  That's what the main roads are for.  
• Items in my pant pockets include: car keys, cell phone, access cards, work ID, debit card, coffee zon gift card with .29 remaining on it, pen, scrap paper, chapstick (the air is very dry in the lab; and you never know who you might have to kiss up to), a dose of Aleve.  
• When I make a decision there is no discussion.  I can count on one hand the number of people who are able to successfully persuade me to change my mind and you're not one of them.  Regardless of how many perks, offers, etc. you throw in I am not changing my mind.  Oh, and to tell my co-worker that you have me pegged and that you will make me reverse my decision only adds fuel to the fire that you started.  
• Thank you for making me aware of a meeting the day before it is to be held.  I don't have anything else demanding my attention right. this. second.  
• 12 bridesmaids!  Are you freakin' kidding me?!  What the heck?!  Why invite guests at that point?
• 4:30 am wake-ups are no fun.  However, I am a fan of the 5 hour energy drink now.  I tried the berry flavor today and although it is a little bitter, it gets the job done.  I felt the effects in 10 minutes and got through the rest of the work and then some.  All the protein I ate today probably helped a little too.
• I am like goldilocks when it comes to beds.  It has to be just right or I can't sleep. I need to get over that real quick.
• sigh. I'm really, very, whelmed.  Not over or under, just whelmed.   I need my mind to slow down and my spirit to rest.  There is much to do and less time to do it in.
• Time for bed.  The alarm will come much too soon and if I don't get 7 hrs. of good sleep, it's going to take a lot more then a 5 hour energy drink to keep me going.

First Day of School

After a sweet time celebrating my birthday it's time to prepare for the first day of class.  I am taking Nursing Role Socialization I.  I've already e-mailed the instructor and told her about my upcoming trip, to which she replied "we can talk about it after class.  I look forward to meeting you."  Hmm.  I can't get a good read on that response.  I am hoping for the best though.  

To Do:

• set alarm clock for later wake-up time. (sweet)
• pack book bag-textbook, notebook, pens, snack
• look up class for updated classroom location
• write a reminder to NOT go to work first.  School first then work.

The Boys R Back!

Back to where it all began!  A HSM dance-off with Jordan and Jeff.  Notice the intense concentration they both display when pointing the controllers at the tv.

Senior Pictures

This picture was supposed to go last in this series but I uploaded it in the wrong order.  This was my attempt at an "artsy" shot.  This is a reflection of the four of us in the window of the building.  

Mar

Steph

Jess

Fleur

self-portrait

much better.

Lightening the Load

I did some purging today of textbooks I no longer need but was holding on to for whatever reason.  Though, I would love to burn that ugly green trig text.  I should have taken the hint that Sister Margaret's class was going to be a bust after 80% of the class dropped the course within the second week.  I should have followed suit and dropped that class like a bad habit. Ugh.  

So long chem, physics, trig, and GRE books.  Perhaps you'll allow another soul to pour over your pages of synonyms/antonyms, rotation of conics, linear momentum and Boyle's and Henery's Laws and add to the accumulation of sweat and tears that stain the pages.  As for you and me, "we are so over."

The PDR may come in handy.  I'll use it as a paperweight for now.

T minus 44hrs.

"I will study and get ready and, perhaps my chance will come."- Abraham Lincoln

 "Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn to know the liberating influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of the community to which your later work belongs."- Albert Einstein

How much information can you squeeze onto an 8 1/2 by 4 1/2 "help sheet" for a final exam?  Answer:  It depends on how small you can write.

The view from my study chair this evening.  The ISO played at Zionsville Lions Park as a part of their free summer concert series.  It was very enjoyable with great weather and music to boot.  Definitely a nice change in pace from my corner at Starbucks.

Registration

I registered for fall semester classes today.  I'll be taking 3 credit hours.  One class will be on campus and one will be an online course.  It was Nursing Focus Day and most of the students were either transfer students or incoming freshman.  It is still a strange feeling...this whole changing of careers.  I wonder and ask God at times, eh,  all the time if I am on the right path.  If this is still what He wants me to pursue. Come January the following 16 months will be very intensive.  I'll be tackling clinicals and coursework in double time for 3 semesters.  Historically, when others have told me that something is rigorous I've always had the attitude of "bring it".  The competitive side of me wants to go at with full force.  Then, then I find myself at the place where I am drained.  The point where  I've committed to the activity where it's too late to turn back but I don't really want to go forward either.   I don't want that to happen here.  I believe that it is my calling to help people, to work in the medical field and after a few years of trying different things, I think nursing is it.  That's just the thing though, I think this is it.  I don't know for certain.  In my mind I have a nice idea laid out if I end up pulling this off.  

 I was thinking about the story where Jesus is walking on water and Peter wants to do the same.  Peter gets out of the boat and begins to walk on water.  After he saw the wind, he was afraid and began to sink.  Peter called out, "Lord, save me!"  Jesus reaches out to him and replies, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"  Who is Peter doubting?  He's not doubting Jesus; he is doubting himself.  I find myself in Peter's position.  I am doubting not Jesus but myself.  I am doubting myself because I know my past attempts, failures, and the past fears that are still wrestling within me.  You know what though?  Jesus knows my past too and yet He doesn't doubt me.  Rather then focusing on the 'why'-an explanation that is far beyond human comprehension, I'd rather focus on the simple fact that He believes in me and leave it at that.  Isn't that all that is needed?  The King of the universe believes in me and you; and that is enough.  

When this expedition first started I made it very clear to God that if He wasn't a part of this-if He wasn't in it then it would fail- I would fail.  I said the same thing to Him again today after I had registered for classes.  "If you're not in this, if this is not what you want me to do, tell me."  Walking by faith while being patient for God to orchestrate His plans takes trust, risks, and communication with the Author.  The payoff though is adventure, love, and complete freedom.  

Hydration

No, the title of this post has nothing to do with chemical reactions thank goodness!  I am taking a break from the books and flash cards tomorrow.  I have not been able to ride as much as I would like to, mostly due to scheduling conflicts but also because I needed to get a new CamelBak.  The one I had was about 6 years old and the tubing was really gross and the replacement parts are no longer made for the model I had.  Today, though at work I found one that I like and picked it up earlier this evening.  That means tomorrow will be a long ride with plenty of hydration!   :)  I haven't decided what circuit to conquer, but I was thinking of maybe heading up north.  I'll lay out my gear tonight, check the bike tires, charge the iPod and pack some snacks.  I'm excited!

Watch this one!

I was able to visit with Orion over the 4th of July weekend.  We played with trains, ran around the yard, watched fireworks and Orion rode his tricycle too.  At times he would stop riding, turn and look at me and say "I want to run."  So Orion would run and I would carry the bike back to the house.  Thanks, Orion for training me in the duties of parenthood. 

Being silly.

"I want to run."

"Meghan, watch this one!"

Seriously, this statement is his new thing.  Every 25 seconds I would be cued to "watch this one!"

Orion took this picture of the two of us.

I didn't realize how I was holding the camera while I was filming, which is why you might have to look side ways.  You gotta admit though, it is pretty cute. :)

In this last video Orion is on his bike and is dilly-dallying around and making small talk rather then pedaling.  What you don't see in this video is Orion steering his bike off of the sidewalk and into a shallow ditch.  That is why you will see me reach for the handle bars and try to keep him on the sidewalk.  He's not quite able to carry on a conversation, pedal, and steer yet, but we're working on it!

Chapters 9-13

Chapter 9

Nuclear Radiation

Nuclear equations

Radiation measurement

Half-life of a Radioisotope

Medical applications

Chapter 10

Introduction to Organic Chemistry: Alkanes

Alkanes with substituents

Properties of Alkanes

Functional groups

Chapter 11

Unsaturated Hydrocarbons

Alkenes and Alkynes

Cis-Trans isomers

Addition reactions 

Aromatic compounds

Chapter 12

Organic compounds with oxygen and sulfur

Alcohols, Ethers, and Thiols

Properties of Alcohols, Phenols, and Ethers

Aldhehydes and Ketones/properties of...

Chiral molecules

Chapter 13

Carboxylic Acids, Esters, Amines, and Amides

Carboxylic Acids and their properties

Esters

Amines

Amides

Chapters 1-4

My first test is on Thursday and I had to finish chapter 2 homework that is due tomorrow.  I had penciled in study time for earlier this afternoon but ended up taking a 3 hour nap.  I guess I can't study in my bed. :(  I had another study time at 7pm and I succeeded in keeping that commitment.  Without further ado, here is the review material!  Edited to add:  Chap 4 is kicking my butt :(

Chapter 1 

What is matter?

Measurements

Conversions

Metric System

Temperature/density/specific gravity

Chapter 2

difference between kinetic and potential energy

Heat energy- determine how much is needed to change the temp. of water.

Food energy-kcal, calorimeter

understand the meaning and relationship between various states of matter

heat of fusion: 80 cal/g (of water)

heat of vaporization: 540 cal/g

Chapter 3

Atom structure

determine atomic number, mass number and know shorthand notations

Isotopes

Electron Configurations

draw orbital diagrams

understand valence electrons

Chapter 4

Periodic Table

Periods vs groups

atomic size

Ionization energy

Elements of Life

O,C,N, H-major elements

K,Mg, Ca, Na, P,S, Cl-macrominerals

Fe, Cu, Zn, I, Mn, F- trace elements

Know the octet rule

Ionic bonds

Covalent bonds

Electronegativity

Polyatomic ions

know how to write chemical formulas for ionic and covalent molecules and how to name the chemical compound if given the formula

know the valences of Fe, Cu, Sn

1 week down, 5 to go!

Winds of Change

I've returned from a great trip with wonderful friends.  Five of us spent 8 days traveling Route 66 from LA to Chicago.  The trip was filled with numerous "firsts" and many laughs and meaningful moments.  This trip also marks the beginning of a season of change for me.  In just 40 short hours I will be returning to school.  I've decided to pursue a BSN degree (Bachelor of Science in Nursing)  I have only 3 prerequisite courses to take.  At the end of December I can apply to the School of Nursing.  Should I be accepted, I anticipate on graduating in May 2011.  In addition to this endeavor, at the end of September I will leave for Nariobi, Kenya on my first mission trip.  

As you may imagine dramatic change and unpredictable chances are not things that this gal has been known to take.  However, the freedom and excitement that has come from these commitments have been so rewarding!  On the flip side, with this eagerness and anticipation comes anxiety and thoughts of doubt.   "Will I make it?"  "Am I good enough?"  

There are some uplifting verses that I've found are helpful in simmering the negative self talk that can so easily entangle and snarl this new and uncharted path.  

•  "This is the confidence that we have in approaching God:  that if we ask  anything      according to his will, He hears us.  And if we know that He hears us-whatever we ask-    we know that we have what we asked of Him."
• "Commit to the Lord whatever you do and your plans will succeed."
  
• "Do not dwell on the past."  Isaiah 43:18
• "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:16

I know that the third bullet point will be the hardest for me.  Not dwelling on the past--moving forward--accepting the failures and mistakes that happened, learning from them and pressing onward.  I am looking forward to the days ahead and sitting in a classroom once again learning a new craft and sharpening old skills.    

Route 66

Check out www.lifeisahighway09.blogspot.com.  I'll be traveling The Mother Road with some friends this week.

Ugh. Where do I start?

Cables, cables, and cords

I pulled a Martha Stewart and organized all of the random cables and cords that belong to the electronics that I have.  I am not sure what the two cords in the middle belong to.  Any ideas?

Post Office Visit

Today I went to the downtown post office to apply for a passport.  Jeffery helped me at the desk and was a wealth of information.  He was quite the talker and while looking over my application commented on my profession and and shared some of his life with me.  Jeffery, after graduating high school wanted to attend Purdue University Veterinary School.  Instead, he joined the military for four years and then when he was discharged he found employment with the United States Post Office and has been there for over 30 years.  

One of the funniest moments was when Jeffery asked me if I had plans on getting married in the next year.  I replied, "I don't know, maybe".*  Jeffery responded, "Well, if he convinces you to marry him within a year you can have your passport updated and processed for free."  He ended by telling me to come back with pictures from my trip.

My conversation with Jeffery at the downtown post office was the highlight of my day.  Thanks for a great visit, Jeffery!

* no, no bells are ringing.  It's just fun to mix it up every once in a while. 

A busy week is ahead. I have multiple meetings and errands after work, a silent auction and banquet of Friday night, the marriage celebration of two friends on Saturday morning and much reading and research to do. I am most excited about FAME's Annual Silent Auction and Banquet. This event has been in preparation mode since January and this is the week where it all comes together. The keynote speaker for the evening is Mary Kamau. Mary and her husband Wallace work with Missions of Hope International. They have also partnered with Christan Missionary Fellowship (CMF) as well as FAME. Mary will speak about the slums in Nairobi, Kenya and the advances that FAME and its partners have made in securing land to build a medical clinic in the Mathare Valley. All the proceeds from the auction will go to help offset the building and operational costs of the clinic. Keith Ham, a CMF missionary wrote this in FAME's newsletter last year.

We have plans to construct and supply at least two clinic int he Mathare Valley to meet the demands of curative health. Our partnership with FAME will also include short-term mission trips. With their expertise in medicine, advice, and the work during the trips; we'll be able to help and reach out to many more in the Nairobi slums. There are diseases and health issues that we have not been able to diagnosis correctly but with their help of mission trips and the follow up they'll provide, we'll be able to meet some of the more difficult health problems in the slums.

I have immensely enjoyed being a partner with FAME and have marveled at their work and seeing their ministry grow and share the Good News. You can check out FAME at www.fameworld.org to learn more. Be sure to look at their prayer calendar for staff, volunteers and those that are on mission trips.

I have been listening to a radio station on the computer at work and one of the topics that came up was that of Nehemiah. There I was sitting at the bench furiously taking notes on a 3x3 post-it note while holding a pipette in my other hand transferring samples. I know you're impressed with my super multi-tasking skillz :) Below, is a snippet of the transcript between Dr. Michael Easley and Bob Lepine.

If you read Nehemiah’s prayers, do the study on your own. See if you can
prove me wrong. When I read his prayers they ring of loneliness. Leaders deal with it. Presidents are lonely. Churchill was incredibly lonely. Commanding officers are lonely. Doctors are lonely. Principals are lonely. CEOs are lonely. People who run their own company are very lonely individuals. Coaches are incredibly lonely creatures. Police officers are incredibly lonely creatures. People in leadership, even pastors can be very lonely people. You see it in lots of ways. They withdraw from people. They isolate themselves when they have time away from work. They have no interest in social events. Believe me, I understand this. You get to a point where it’s all you do is spend all your time with people. I’m not saying crowds take care of loneliness. I’m saying close, intimate friendships carry us through life. The good side of loneliness is that it forces you to trust Christ and deepen in your walk with Christ. But the
danger of loneliness is, left in isolation; you will end-up in no good. Ask God for a friend who’s closer than a brother and see if He’ll give it to you. And lastly, leadership is an enormous privilege. What a tragedy to lead a mediocre life. What a tragedy to live an unfulfilled life. What a tragedy to end-up, excuse me, like so many old people who are bitter, and resentful,
and alone. You don’t believe me? Go next door and talk to some of these people. You don’t believe me? Go to Green Spring and talk to some of these people. Entropy is tough to beat, men and women. And, if God is moving you to be a leader, don’t sit back. Ralph Mattson wrote a book years ago called Visions of Grandeur, and with this I close; "If we add up all the grand moments of our lives, most of us end with a very small pile of memories, but they are indeed golden. In contrast, a similar collection of all our mundane times yields a ponderous heap. It’s clear the bulk of our life’s efforts are consumed by routine tasks and ordinary business."
Don’t die that way. There are enough men and women in this room who if you truly respond to the call of God to be His disciple, to seek Him constantly, serve Him faithfully, and share Him boldly I believe He would use you for great things.

Wow. There are not enough fingers on my hands to count the times in the last few weeks where the last place I wanted was to be with a group of people. Just one person will do. I've found it dangerous to be by oneself for too long. There is such a delicate balance in being a leader and being able to be led. It is incredibly frustrating in times like these when you don't want to lead and don't want to be led. This is the point where it becomes dangerous. Being stagnant is acceptable in certain circumstances, but being so for too long results in a putrid stench and decay. A laissez-faire approach doesn't help much either. What does, however, is the friend who is closer than a brother. A friend who can drag you out of your hole when you don't have the strength. A friend to remind you that being a leader, while difficult, unpopular and lonely is very rewarding. A friend whose encouragement feed your soul... it is this friend who is the true leader.

Snow Day

I didn't go into work today. Instead I took pictures.

This is a ground level view from the garage. How much snow is that you ask? Let me get my trusty measuring tape and find out...

Why, that is 10 inches of snow! Let's take a look around the neighborhood.

snow mounds

sun peering through the morning clouds

snow covered trees

Cardinal. Hurry Spring!

It's hard to believe that we actually used this grill just a few weeks ago!

A shot of the driveway after it was shoveled. I am thinking the pile of snow on either side of the driveway would make for an awesome fort for a snowball fight.

AJ's Visit

This past weekend Adaryll (AJ) came back home to Indiana for a performance at Zionsville Fellowship. AJ is part of a trio of talented musicians that are traveling to Europe this spring to perform and share Christ with others through their music.

On Sunday, Trader's Point was treated to a special surprise. AJ opened up service with his amazing saxophone skills. I have been trying to upload the video but have not had any luck. I'll keep trying though.

Also, this past Saturday, I volunteered at the Tissue Bank at the IU Simon Cancer Center which is teamed up with the Susan G. Komen Foundation. This event was a major success. There were 82 donors and twice as many volunteers! Can you believe it? One volunteer for every two donors! Even better, the grants director came in from Dallas and was blown away by how smoothly everything ran, the kindness of everyone and the success of the event. For me, I had been looking forward to this all week. Working in a clinical setting again made me so happy, especially after a terrible day at work on Friday. It was so nice to be around so many amazing people dedicating their time and talent to the cause of eradicating breast cancer.